tibets:

remember to help those that can’t help themselves :)

worldfamousprofessor:

spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”

contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?

moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”

shmegeh:

I found this card at the pharmacy today and it was good.

Have you guys listened to Relaxdaily? :)

“ And it might make many landfill-choking plastics obsolete.”

rosalarian:

Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.

I’ve always wanted to be a treeee! Even if it means I’ll get cut down and turned into pad paper, sand paper, or toilet paper. Least I’ll still be of service to people :)